Every year in May, the United States Department of Defense recognizes the strength and contributions of the nation’s nearly one million military spouses.

In Minnesota, there are almost 9,500 National Guard and Reserve spouses. This includes Elizabeth Bradshaw, spouse of Minnesota National Guard Army Maj. Justin Bradshaw, 34th Infantry Division. The Bradshaws have three children: Piper, 9; Arlo, 3; and Estelle, who passed away as an infant six years ago.

Month of the Military Spouse holds special meaning for Elizabeth.

“There is a lot of sacrifices that families have to make in order to support their soldiers,” she said. “Knowing that there is a month to honor what we do to ensure our service members can complete their missions makes me feel proud of our role.”

And with that role comes many challenges.

“Since we are parents, the hardest part for me is solo parenting when he is gone. It is an incredible mental load to carry, and all the day-to-day tasks fall to the spouse at home,” Elizabeth said. “It is also challenging to not have your person around to talk to about anything and everything. You have to get creative to find ways to connect, especially while they are away.”

Therefore, a strong support system is a necessity.

“Luckily, we have an incredible support system through family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors, but it is still tough,” said Elizabeth, who volunteers with the Minnesota National Guard Soldier and Family Readiness Specialists team. She manages its social media and provides information to families.

Elizabeth and her family also appreciate all the organizations, like Beyond the Yellow Ribbon, that support service members and their families. The Beyond the Yellow Ribbon program provides a support network that connects and coordinates agencies, organizations, and resources to meet the needs of Minnesota’s veterans, service members, and families in all military branches.

“It’s comforting to know so many communities and businesses have our back and are thankful for what we do,” she said.

Elizabeth asks employers and others in the community to be patient, flexible, and supportive of their service member employees, friends, and neighbors.

“Don’t put the burden on them by asking what you can do to help them. Sometimes we don’t know, and it changes day by day. Instead, ask if Wednesday or Thursday would be better to drop off a meal. Offer to take their dog on a walk on a Saturday morning or mow their lawn,” Elizabeth said. “Take it upon yourself to do something for them, within reason, without overwhelming them, crossing a boundary, or having them expend any energy to figure it out.”

Military life is far from easy, and Elizabeth encourages spouses to “hang on tight,” “take a deep breath,” and remember they are not alone.

“Your spouse, your marriage, and your family are worth it,” Elizabeth said. “Seek out other military spouses to connect with. Don’t try to do it alone. Having someone to go to who gets it is priceless.”

For Elizabeth, the positives and numerous points of pride outweigh the difficulties of being a military spouse.

“I think the most positive thing about being a military spouse is the community that can come along with it. It isn’t always automatic, and you sometimes have to seek it out, but I’ve met some wonderful people through my husband’s military service,” Elizabeth said. “I’m also proud of what our family has weathered together and the service we have provided to our country.”

By Cristina Oxtra

Minnesota National Guard Public Affairs