Month of the Military Spouse: Glimpse into life as military spouse

For Army Chief Warrant Officer 3 Douglas Watson, 34th Infantry Division, the Month of the Military Spouse, celebrated every year in May means recognizing and acknowledging the unique role military spouses have in a service member’s life.

Doug is especially thankful for his wife, Amy.

“I could not have achieved what I have in the military without the support and sacrifices my wife has made,” he said.

Doug and Amy have four children – Brody, 15; Brockton, 12; Evelyn, 11; and Elliana, 8. Amy said military spouses take on many roles, ranging from parent and keeper of the schedule to lawn maintainer, house cleaner, snow remover, and more.

“At times, I am a single parent while my spouse is on a mission abroad. Taking on the role of independent parenting while still trying to include your soldier and keep them relevant in your kids’ lives is very difficult,” Amy said. “Feeling like your marriage is put on pause for nine months to a year and trying each time to find a new normal is difficult and then reintegrating the soldier back into the routine that may have changed since they left. Drill weekends often cutting into family events or kids’ sporting events is tough. The kids don’t like it when Dad has to miss their stuff.”  

Amy takes it all in stride.

“I may have challenges in this lifestyle, but I feel my challenges are minor compared to my soldier who misses out on chunks of our lives,” Amy said. “I don’t know that I could leave my family for periods of time. I feel that all these challenges help to make me a better person, help me to appreciate what I have in my spouse and our family.”

Amy also sees being a miliary spouse as a learning experience.

“I truly have learned a lot of what I am capable of because of deployments,” she said. “I finished my degree, fixed a washing machine, changed a car battery, fixed a dishwasher, taught drivers ed to our son, and managed a driveway in one of the worst snow seasons on record. Without my soldier being gone, I may not have attempted many of these things or stretched the boundaries of what I am capable of accomplishing.”

Amy has also established friendships with other service members and spouses and has enjoyed  volunteering and participating in events.

“I have had the opportunity to volunteer with the Soldier & Family Readiness Group, help put on three successful Family Day carnivals and have had great opportunities from Beyond the Yellow Ribbon and other organizations, like attending a Twins game, a Wild game, and even a spa day for spouses,” she said.

Doug would like to let all military spouses know that they are appreciated not only during the Month of the Military Spouse, but throughout the year.

“I can’t say it enough, it’s great having a support system you can count on to handle things when a soldier’s mission takes them elsewhere,” he said. “Without the support of military spouses, we would not be as successful.”

Amy would like to let her fellow military spouses know, “You are amazing.”

“But don’t forget the beauty in being challenged. Challenges help us discover what we are capable of and when we have taken on more than we should and need help from others. Don’t feel bad for relying on others, be grateful for all the amazing support we are fortunate to have,” Amy said. “When times get tough as a spouse or soldier, reach out, I guarantee you’ll find a battle buddy who can listen or share in your frustration. The military is one big family support group. If you feel alone, ask for help or get involved. No matter what, please know you are amazingly resilient and capable of great things.”

Amy encourages employers and community members to support the military spouses in their workplaces and neighborhoods.

“Military spouses are hard-working individuals who manage to make the impossible possible at times, but who sometimes forget to ask for help when they’re drowning in a to do list,” Amy said. “Unlike military bases, the next National Guard family going through the same deployment cycle may live many miles away. Our families are all spread out, sometimes making this experience a lonely one. The best thing a neighbor did for me was deliver pizza to my house, so I didn’t need to cook on a drill weekend. Small acts of kindness do make a difference. Whether it’s a meal, yardwork, or a listening ear, we appreciate it.”

By Cristina Oxtra

Minnesota National Guard Public Affairs